Mark Palermo

Brazil's National Orgasm Day

He Was Our S.O.B.
Long Ago Saturday Nights at the Circle 9
The Dark Side of Vaccinations
Wine: Where Ignorance and Pretension Find their Loudest Voice
A 1976 Journey in Search of Self
The Machinery of Mass Dreams
The Outlaw Georgie Bush
Sex Offender Registries Out of Control
Extreme Makeover for Airheads
The Fault Lies not in the Stars, but in Ourselves
Reconsidering George Carlin
If You Think Liberals Are Jerks...
She Couldn't Do Her Chores
Remembering Viktor Frankl
One Day on the Farm-1977
A Fresh Look at Meat
How the Real World Works: A Lesson
30 Bucks for the Human Touch
1929 All Over Again
An Old Man's War, A Young Man's Fight
More Things in Heaven and Earth...
Our Dumbed-down Public Discourse
Bread, But No Roses
Earth's the Right Place for Love
Read This Before Enlisting
Poison Is Good for You: The Fluoridation Scam
Ron Paul:He Makes Too Much Sense
War Is a Racket
Brazil's National Orgasm Day
Calling all Liberals!
Why I Don't Get Flu Shots
What is Community?
Haverhillicus Homocrisicum
If You Wanna Be a Junkie, Why?
Do We Know His Family?
Scam: Youth Sports
A Subsidy for the Human Touch?
How Not to Be Boring
If the Bread and Roses Strike Were NOW
America's Problem with the Body
Columbus Day? or Renaissance Day?
Depleted Uranium Weapons
Mitt Romney: A Clintonian Republican
A Checklist for Conservatives
On Torture and Torturers
Pimp of the Nation
Romney is a Jerk
Hypocrisy and its Champions
The Dumb Society
The Men's Taverns of Yesteryear
On Dittoheads!
Let China Sleep
2004 McDebates
Animal Rights Page
US Wealth Distribution Chart
Public Grief, Private Lives

I wish mediocrity were not so politically expedient. My father has always said, “BS will get a man further in life than talent.” For proof, one need look no further than Marty “Midas” Meehan, who went along, broke promises, and spent his entire congressional career railing against campaign finance abuses. Yet, in the end, it can be said that Midas drank more lustily from the poisoned cup of campaign finance than any of his ethically-challenged colleagues. Which brings me to my next wish:

I wish all lobbying were illegal, especially by foreign governments. Lobbying is just another word for bribery. How can we have a foreign policy in the best interests of the American people when we allow China, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Japan, and anyone else to buy into our legislative process?

I wish Congress would take a lesson from Doors’ drummer John Densmore, who refused a $15,000,000 offer from Cadillac for the rights to use “Break On Through” in the company’s advertising campaign. Densmore says the Doors music is “not for rent.” (Jim wouldn’t approve) The Doors had more talent, passion, and artistic integrity than any other rock group- then and now.

I wish U.N. observers were called in to monitor all future public works projects in Haverhill. Then, maybe it wouldn’t take six years to replace an 800-foot bridge through the center of town.

I wish Howie Carr, AKA “Howie, the Jackal,” avowed Nemesis of immigrants -illegal and otherwise- would find one good thing to say about one immigrant. Any immigrant will do. The image of Howie in the act of praise is somehow inconceivable, maybe even surrealistic. Like George Bush dancing the Macarena. Or Dick Cheney reading Allen Ginsberg’s poem, Howl, in some smoky, waterfront tavern.

I wish the people of the United States would stand against torture, secret detentions and similar abuses for which we condemned the Nazis at Nuremburg. We are a nation of laws, not of men.

I wish the government would allow a full tax deduction for those who pay their own medical insurance.

I wish so-called conservative columnist, Ann “the Cruel Nun” Coulter would practice civility and restraint, which are the hallmarks of democracy. Every time the shrewish Coulter speaks, she makes conservatism look more like fascism.

I wish there were an enforced anti-noise ordinance in Haverhill. We shouldn’t have to legislate common sense, respect and consideration, but we must.

I wish we had National Orgasm Day here as they do in Brazil. The town of Esperantina, whose residents are deeply religious and conservative, hosts the annual event dedicated to “the health giving benefits of orgasm,” within a committed relationship of course. Esperantina’s mayor, Felipe Santolia says, "I've seen scientific studies that show when a woman is unloved, when her husband can bring her to orgasm, it affects all aspects of her life, her relationships with her children, at home, with the city and at work.” The event features panel discussions by sex therapists on topics like premature ejaculation. Is America ready for this? We could replace the Super Bowl. More and better orgasms should be a priority for all nations, but we must proceed with discretion. Like Nixon opening up China in 1972, only a prominent Republican with stature and gravitas can initiate National Orgasm Day. This is a job for Dick Cheney.

I wish Ron Paul were the Republican presidential candidate, but look for him to be marginalized and excluded from the debate by any means necessary. Paul is too interesting and forthright. Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks so. A Google search of his name rendered 48 million hits, while a search for so-called frontrunners Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani rendered a paltry 2 million hits each. If other Republican candidates look wooden and scripted next to Ron Paul, that’s because they are all shills in service to the New World Order.

I wish the media would refrain from the childishly na´ve practice of referring to those who doubt the “official version” of 9/11 as “conspiracy theorists.” As if there were never a conspiracy in this country or anyplace else. Polls repeatedly indicate the vast majority of Americans believe the government covered up the facts of 9/11. The conspiracy belongs to those who have concocted the lie, not those who perceive it.

I wish the Tribune would stop referring to those who want to vote on gay marriage as “anti-gay.” There’s nothing anti-gay about letting the people decide. An end run around the democratic process may achieve an important short-term objective for gay people. On the other hand, winning hearts and minds by persuasion and discourse is the democratic way. In the words of Thomas Jefferson, “…if we think them (the citizens) not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion by education.

July 2007